No Fear
by KraziKrysti
Summary: After finally admitting she likes James Lily gets annoyed when he starts avoiding her,she plans to confront him but when she does she discovers hidden shadows in his past...


No Fear.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR the primary plot line is adapted from a sub plot in Setona Mizushiro's manga 'X-DAY'

Summery: after finally admitting to liking James Lily gets confused when he starts avoiding her, it starts to annoy her and so she plans to confront him only to discover hidden shadows in his past…

xXx

"James! Did you hear? Lily's admitted to liking you!" Sirius charged into the dorm, ecstatic for his friend.

"Yeah, I heard, I was round the corner when she yelled it at Annie." James muttered.

"Well, aren't you happy?" asked Sirius and James smiled sadly, rubbing his left shoulder.

"I guess so, I just…" James sighed and looked out the window.

"You know…" James muttered.

"Yeah, I do." Sirius's eyes were fixed on James's shoulder.

xXx

"I bet James has heard by now." Annie muttered to Lily as she flopped on her bed.

"Probably, I'll have to face him sooner or later I guess." Lily sighed.

"At dinner'd probably be best. If you say to him you want a word." Piped up Alice

"it's dinner time now…" muttered Kerry-Ann looking at her watch. Lily sighed and sat up

"Ok, let's go." She muttered leaving the dorm.

xXx

"James! Dinner!" yelled Peter running in.

"Not hungry, see you later." Muttered James not moving. Peter blinked a few times before leaving.

"He won't come." Peter told Sirius who sighed.

"Ok, lets go." He muttered as he glanced at the dorm stairs. The three guys walked down to the hall in silence. As they entered Lily looked up.

"No James." Muttered Annie, confused.

"He might turn up in a sec." Kerry-Ann suggested. But he didn't. The other three were uncharacteristically quiet as they ate and left quickly.

"You don't think James's hurt?" Lily asked getting up.

"No!" yelled Alice and Lily sat down

"No, I'm sure he's fine." Alice added.

"ok." Lily muttered reluctantly as she continued eating.

xXx

"Did…did he just look at me and walk off?" Lily asked Kerry-Ann the next day in the corridors.

"I doubt it. Why would he?" laughed Kerry-Ann, Lily frowned but didn't comment. After the third time that happened Lily decided that he was avoiding her and that if he wasn't at dinner she'd just have to find him.

"Sirius, you will tell me where he is, and you will tell me RIGHT NOW!" Lily yelled at Sirius when he entered the hall. Sirius jumped.

"he's…at the top of the astronomy tower, but Lily? Be kind." There was something in Sirius's eyes but Lily didn't get to find out what because he walked around her and headed over to the table. Lily watched him go then headed up to the astronomy tower.

"James?" she asked as she got to the top of the stairs. There was movement and she spotted him.

"You've been asking me out for years, always in view and then I burst and yell at Annie that I like you and suddenly you're like the invisible man. Does this mean you truly didn't like me?" Lily demanded advancing on James. He was backing up with every step she took and ended up pressed against the wall.

"N…no," he stuttered

"I do like you, a lot…it's…" James stopped and looked away

"You don't go that way? Are you gay?" demanded Lily and James laughed

"No, I'm not gay I'm—" he mumbled quietly

"You're what?" Lily asked stepping closer. James looked at her and pressed himself against the wall.

"I'm scared of girls." He whispered so quietly Lily almost didn't hear. She almost laughed at him, almost except the look in his eyes stopped her.

"Why?" she asked him, softly. He looked into her eyes and swallowed before looking away. Slowly he unbuttoned his shirt and let it slip to the floor. Lily gasped as the pattern of scars and burns that covered James's torso came into view.

"When I was younger my mother used to take out her bad days on me." James whispered

"One day she was boiling water when she got a call to say that her mother had died, I was four." Tears were falling from his eyes, but James didn't notice. Lily was horrified at what she was being told.

"She died six years ago and I moved in with my father." James continued.

"He still doesn't know." James sniffed

"So that's why I'm afraid of women Lily, I've tried dating girls, but it hasn't worked out right."

"Are…are you scared of me?" Lily asked, looking at James, tears in her eyes as she watched the pain cross James's face. He looked at her seemingly debating.

"Yes." He whispered

"But I think it's a different scared." He added still looking at her. Lily raised her head towards James's and he looked down at her, their lips close. Something flashed in his eyes and he rested his chin on his chest. Lily kissed his forehead and he smiled. Lily kissed his nose, his chin and then with a little hesitation kissed the first of the many scars covering his torso. He stiffened slightly but she continued to kiss his scars and burns and he started to relax once more. He lifted his chin and this time his lips met hers much to his surprise. She'd positioned her lips to be where his would be once he raised his head. Lily pulled back and looked at him. Slowly he lowered his lips to hers once more and kissed her softly, her arms wrapping around his neck. Slowly his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. He broke away from the kiss and looked at her, trembling slightly. Lily smoothed his hair and kissed his cheek.

"It's ok." She whispered.

"It isn't" he whispered back

"But it might be." He smiled at her and hesitantly hissed her nose.

FIN

A/N: What do you think? I liked the sub plots of X-DAY, unfortunately I only have 'book' one and two and I think there are more but I cant find them…anyway I thought it'd be good as a Lily and James story, with a bit of adaptation. I don't think there are many stories where James is the vulnerable one. Please review!


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